I’ve spent days and nights wondering when my prince would come. That is a very familiar line. I wrote it almost five years ago when I was young and naïve. But today I find that it still applies because any normal girl must think about her prince.
When life happens and you find yourself with child and no husband you die and say ‘I am done’. The hopes of a good man perish and all you can think is how good it would be if all men were lined up and shot so that women can live in peace. Or at least those pretending that everything is ok can at least agree with you that perhaps Prince Charming isn’t all he was cut out to be. I mean what a vicious rumour!!
How could you ever believe that there is a man out there tailor made for you who will sweep you into his arms and only leave a mark if he is the one. Why did they not warn you that the wrong ones also leave a mark? A permanent one if you are secretly a coward and unable to rub it away quick enough. How could anyone spread such nonsense? You start to think a lot of things until one day you come to realize that the rumour was already programmed inside of you. Which means that if it wasn’t someone telling you that you need a hero it is you telling someone how much a hero can bring.
Before you know it, as angry, single and pregnant as you are you start to notice that you cannot do life alone. Not if it means having only your married friends to flaunt their success, your single mom friends to load you with new degrees of worry or your single friends to flaunt their independence. You just can’t do it alone and you need a special kind of friend to ease the burden.
It is at this point that many single mothers lose or gain it. The options are limitless. You are now going to find a man who is very unavailable but willing to share your empty space and entertain your fear of men; you will find a single guy who is looking for love but isn’t too sure about your extra baggage, you will find generous sperm donors twin brother looking for a little rustle with no strings attached, you will find a really nice guy with all the qualifications but no goals, you will find a really good guy, perfect for the job but a little voice inside your head telling you to do all the wrong things.
Basically all the men you met while single and carefree you will find this end but it is up to you to know where you are on the spectrum of love. It all easy to say one day you will ifnd a prince. And it is allowed for you to keep on believing that until you find him. But what happens is that many young women who fall pregnant out of wedlock fall into the darkest abbys that without any assistance loosk to swallow them whole and not even spit a bone out.
I myself had to be warned that if I stop believing in a prince I will become a woman for every man. But how many women in this situation have such an opportunity? And how many still understand this notion. Very few.
Very g=few single moms understand that they have the power to be amazing human beings. The power to live their lives again without thinking themselves second best. Anyone can think themselves damaged good if they want. They be virgin or not. Anyone. And the secret lies in what you mean when you say you want to fins a prince. Is this prince supposed to make life worthy for you or is this prince the last piece of the complete puzzle?
I mean you try to explain it and you try to get yourself to grasp it that it is ok to believe in prince charming because honestly speaking you yourself are a queen. Many young women have become lost in the maze of love because they believe that someone out there must make them special in order for them to feel special. They must say sweet nothings to you if your day is to shine, they must be everything to you if life is to be worth living…and perhaps that is why many young women are easily conned into having sex with a man that is simply having sex.
Is it any wonder then that many single moms and many young women do not even dare to believe that one day a prince will come to their aid? Not to give them life but to walk with them side by side? If you are going around believing that it is too late “I am raising a child alone because I believed in a lie”. Or think that it is too soon. That if you pretend not to care long enough then a good man might just materialize from somewhere. You are going to live to regret it. Because when loneliness creeps in you will find yourself pretending to still be waiting while life happens to you and you fall deeper into trouble.
Life may not be a fairy tell but I will tell you the truth that prince charming exist and you better believe it. However he comes only when you are thinking and living like a princess. A woman who knows where she is coming from and where she is going. Who has made her mistakes and wears them like a tiara.
Are you saying that you are wrong, unworthy and undesirable because of decisions that you made? If decisions make us then is the next best thing death? Is that life you are now raising, the evidence of life, love and hope undeserving? Did you choose to keep a life only to cause it to regret decisions he or she did not make?
Your belief in a prince is in actual fact the only chance your child has at a better life. When you know that you are worth diamonds, worth gold. When you know that you wouldn’t choose to be anyone but who you are and acknowledge that every human needs a companion, you are going to be sending that message to the world. Your child or children will know that life has purpose. And a princess looking for a prince is not what many out there have started to think of single mom. She is not a desperado on the loose. She is a warm, gorgeous, wonderful person willing to give life that one more chance. Looking for a prince.
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