Its not easy being a single mom

There are moments in life when it is easy to think that one is the only one going through something. A man suddenly retrenched asking himself why he didn’t think of saving all this time, a woman with a very healthy lifestyle suddenly finding out she has cancer, a girl in love finding herself pregnant. The strange cries are always ‘why me’ and yes many motivational speakers may say it should actually be ‘why not me’ but the fact is that it is not only you.

There is no way that any experience in life can be 100 per cent unique. It is the individual that is unique. It is the soul that perhaps did not expect the circumstances to arise and is made up so different that it is bound to react different. This may justify the feeling that it is only you that is going through this thing but in actual fact ten hands can be raised at a single expression of that feeling.

My focus on this blog is on women aged whatever, that find themselves raising a child or children on their own. They be biological or not, whether by choice or by force. If you find yourself responsible for someone else’s life when you hardly have a grip on your own and are now having to pick up the pieces of who you were, who you are and who you want to be.

The first thing I can say about this state of being is what I have just said: you are not alone. There are many others like you. Who planned or did not plan to raise someone and are doing so because they chose to do the right thing and keep that life. This is not to make any stance where the decision to keep a pregnancy or not is concerned but to be realistic and face up to life when life happens.

We recently read in the news that 39 female students at Chancellor college feel pregnant during the forced April to July 2011 break , and according to Dr. Zacchaeus Mathema in the book Single and Gifted by Jeffrey Brown in one university in Kenya 50 per cent of the female students who enroll each year cut their academic careers short by pregnancies.

This means that there are a lot of women out there who find themselves with a life growing inside of them that go through the death and resurrection carrying a life demands of you.

It is this group of people that is ignored, taken for granted, pushed close to the edge and when it comes to any movement, s almost forgotten.

I am talking about the women, the individuals who have dreams and are forced to put them aside in order to accommodate a new life, those souls who find themselves in debt because of that weird denial that comes with life after the birth and those members of society who for years have not known whether they were worthy or not because they gave up all rights the day they said yes to life.

The road is long when you are a single mom and few know that it can be shared and it can. In fact it must if we are to save an entire generation of not only women but children. Children who did not choose to live but are alive anyway and stand to be broken should their only source of hope be broken.

Its not easy being a single mom.