A newness

The newness of today speaks volumes. Its lining the tops of every hill and shaking the branch of every tree. This is because when He wants to do something He makes it as plain as possible. I stand here alone no attachments, no fears. No nothing. Because I figured it out not too long ago that it is pointless to worry. I have no control over anything. I am a mere vessel of goodness and truth and all I do if led by me usually come s under the label of mistake. So why not cast all my burdens on my God who said I was worth giving life and has never let me down.

28 is no joke. It’s the in-between. I look forward to 30 so I can see what they mean by labeling it the peak of living. I look backward at the last 28 years and simply appreciate that I have lived and made it through. Having acquired the fear and pains and surprises and joys that I have, my son especially, I am saying ok….lets see what can happen if I let go. If I stand naked…will I not be clothed? If I stand alone will I not be accompanied? Surely I am alive to experience much more than I thought.

It was never a husband, or a home, or a car or success. Those were never my answer. My answer lay in the skies all along...and in the ground where I will one day go. My answer lays in the fact that it matters not whether I live. What does matter is whether I live.

When you spend time looking for happiness you ignore all the ready made joy there is. When you waste time wanting someone to make you a somebody you sell your soul bit by bit and it is no wonder that many of us find ourselves empty at the end of a relationship or even in the middle. It is no wonder many of us have forgotten the smell of rain and the feel of hope.

Who would have thought that the best way to take control of ones life was to let go. Let go of that man you cant figure out. Let go of that girl relationships turn you into. Let go of that pain. Let go of that fear. Let go of all the madness that comes with chasing the wind. And let live. Make a list, tick it off but remember that no matter how hard you plan...it will not ever materialize if it was not thus intended.

If a certain thing is meant to take place how come numerous incidents come along to derail you? If that thing really is for you how come it doesn’t feel so great to have it? For everything there is a reason and a purpose and a season. Mistakes, hurt, progress, shame. Let them have their course. That is what I have earned. Because if there is one thing I would truly regret it would be wasted life. A wasted moment and a wasted waste.

Life is just about living. Stop pushing it will take you with it. Stop pulling it will fall on you.